


Secret Love

by orphan_account



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, Developing Relationship, First Love, Graphic Description, Major Character Injury, Man Verses Nature, Minor Character Death, Multiple Relationships, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Relationship(s), Psychological Trauma, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Stranded, Survival, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:27:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3921208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The lone survivor of a plane crash-Cloud Strife- wakes up in the debris of the plane on unfamiliar terrain he struggles to survive; not only in danger because of the harsh conditions, but also a band of bandits that find joy in murder. While struggling with himself, he begins to remember fragments of a silver haired boy he met one day on the mountain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter I

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the final fantasy franchise, square enix does.
> 
> To be honest (and disappointing) I don't feel like bringing in Sephiroth until later chapters, so you guys will have to deal with the adorable fourteen year old Cloud with that ridiculous ponytail. And the angst-magnet that is a sixteen year old Cloud Strife going through all kinds of hurt.
> 
> Shit. We authors are horrible; tormenting our protagonist and always updating late

My ears wouldn't stop ringing, throbbing and burning as I sat up, my muscles groaning at the strain- particularly my back, I looked around; cursing my luck as sunlight shine through the wire scaffolding that was missing, twisted and dismantled about. I whined as pain flared up in my back, I craned my neck back to glance at the bloody fabric with a hiss. Protocol...what was protocol for an injury like this?

My bloody leather gloves stuck uncomfortably to my hand in the moist heat, a dense foliage of thick winding trees; the bustle of undergrowth assured me that I was not in a full grown forest- but still in unfamiliar terrain that had me longing for the crisp mountain air I called home. Protocol... what was the first thing you do in situations like this? Disoriented, I glanced about the wreckage for anything to salvage- the fruits of my success was a dented first aid kit, a nylon sheet and a few matches.

I winced, my ankle throbbed with a vengeance when it presumed I had ignored it long enough. Hobbling on, I noticed how parched I felt- my mouth was completely arid my thoughts soon began to ponder how to find water. I scoffed at my myself; recalling the novella's I had read when the main character gets stranded with...I slowed. Where were the other Cadets? There had certainty been no sign of them in the ship- fuck if I care, it's not like they took me with them if they had left.

Maybe that was cruel, or uncalled for, but when I caught sight of movement I froze. Swallowing thickly (as if I could do the same for the trepidation swelling in my breast) I crouched down low, suddenly thankful that I've always ad such light steps due to my less than preferable size.

I almost vomited at the sight.

 _Almost_.

Flies swarmed around the dead bodies wearing bloodied Shinra uniforms, their heads bent at bizarre and unnatural angles over the tight wool rope that held them to the lowest branches of the trees, their brown rotting entrails hanging out of the large vertical gash in their bellies that white maggots squirmed in.

Shit. I was such an idiot, I ran as fast as I could away from the bodies, stumbling over a few branches and I didn't stop until my lungs were burning, my muscles ached and I collapsed onto the damp soil. I weakly looked up upon noticing the distant sound of running water. Despite myself I smiled, inching towards the water and swearing to the planet that if Minerva pulled some shit right now, I would burn this forest down into the ground.

Kindling a fire, I thought back to the bodies. Someone- human- had obviously killed them, putting them on display for not just anyone to see. I boiled the water in a can a found in the first aid kit, wondering why someone had done something like that. I shuddered. It was like a omen, reminding me of the tales my mother used to tell before I went to bed. I shuddered.

Instinctively, I scratched the back of my neck, frowning at the blood that crusted my fingers. Pulling of my shirt, I took a deep breath in anticipation of what was bout to come. With a wince, I bit back a scream as I poured the simmering water over my back. Panting, dizzy and holding back the urge to vomit I resisted the urge to jump in the warm water- reminding myself if the bacteria that could infect the would as I began to boil the second batch of water. The stinging had ebbed away into a unpleasant numbness.

I growled, biting through the skin of my lip until the metallic, copper like taste reached the tip of my tongue- the hot water searing my skin. Come on Raincloud, this is the best disinfectant you've got. After I lost all feeling in my back, I panted, lowering my head into my knees in an effort to stop the world from spinning. Grimacing at the pink water pooling at my shorts I stood on tremulous legs, wiping away the blood dribbling down my chin with the back on my wet leather glove.

Making sure that the water only came to my waist I wasghed out my shirt, and made a makeshift canteen out of the can, ripping a little fabric of my cadet sleeve and maneuvering it through a loop in my waistband. The water wouldn't last me long, but at least it gave me a chance to find a way back.

I held back a wince. Back to _where_? Midgar? Nibelhiem?

My hairs stood on the back of my neck. It was the distinct, creeping notion that I was being watched by something. I shuddered, quickly killing the fire, and wonder how the heck (if it was another person who was watching me) managed to see the small puffs of smoke the miniature fire made, or if a monster had been attached by the smell of my blood. I began walking again along the river bed so I could at least return.

The feeling never went away, and it was driving me insane- the most vexing thing on the entire damn planet (other than the bugs I occasionally had to swat) next to the mocking jeers of the cadets when we were training, or in the locker rooms, or in the halls. Paranoid, I warily looked around for the thousandth, seeking the source of the feeling.

I sighed, clenching my fist tightly until the leather groaned and I felt my nails digging into my skin. What to do...I glanced up to the long winding trees with a glower- cursing Nibelheim for my lack of tree climbing skills. A low growl made me stiffen.

Shit.

I dared to look back, large piss yellow eyes- angular and slit pupils- stared at me back, a large furry black paw stepped out onto the fallen and dead leaves on the ground, large tusk protruding from a black muzzle, saliva dripping from it's black lips and bones protruding from it's leathery skin.

A chorus of howls is what made me run- nothing like Nibel Wolves, hell not like any wolves, but they were definitely pack animals. Maybe tree climbing would've been a better skill to learn than what kind of flowers you can grow in a rock bed.

A beast jumped at my side, it's claws brushing my arm as I stumbled claws digging into my back as I howled in pain, feeling my fist connect with something as my vision blurred. Crawling I ignored the snarled as a loud, thundering roar shook the ground in an orchestra of yelps and snarls.

My throat burned- vomiting I weakly cracked an eye open, looking at the red liquid staining the ground. Taking quick, shallow breaths I stiffened when something Nuzzled my back- a small cry of pain erupting from the sore skin. I looked back, my eyes widening at the sight of a thin snout and golden eyes staring down at me, magnificent silver horns on it's head- as well as the others but not as grandiose- and it's bloodied hooves tapped the ground patiently.

I reached a hand out, and the white muzzle nudged it, it's small tail flicking behind it, strong and slender legs bent slightly to accommodate me. A smaller creature folded it's legs beneath it beside me, tucking it's lithe back under my slightly lifted back. It was warm.

More trotted over, until my eyelids became heavy- my head lolled back and I was too weak to refuse the warmth offered to me. _Ambiguously,_ _I felt something familiar drifting back to me._

Nibelheim's frigid rock came up to meet my boot as I took another step, grumbling quietly to myself as the worn leather crushed a small sheen of ice coating the black mountain rock- taking another step- misstep- I slid, hissing as my knee scraped against the rugged surface- I let out small whimper, quickly scolding myself for making such a noise I looked up at the peek.

A low snarl made me stiffen. A brown furred dog glowered down at me hungrily- an apish gleam in it's eyes as the wolf bounded forward. I was about to turn and run when a flash of silver caught my eye- a short blade twirled in a gloved hand, green slitted eyes looking at me- long silver hair falling down his back. "Are you hurt?" His voice was a little deeper than mine, but still nasal like mine; evidence of his youth as he stood a good five inches above me.

"What are you doing dummy? You could've gotten hurt!" What a great way to thank your savior Cloud, just great.

Green eyes widened a fraction."I was under the assumption you-" He shook his head, "needed... I...apologize."

"Don't apologize stupid, just don't do dangerous things! Aren't you older kids supposed to be smart?"

He looked down at his sword in confusion. "I am smart." He replied matter-of-factly.

I took his larger hand into mine. "Come on, the blood will attract others."

"Oh." He simply said, allowing himself to be pulled along the deer trail I followed to come here.

I dropped some pink berries into his hand and he looked at me curiously.. "Cloudberries, they're not poisonous."I assured, popping a few in my mouth, feeling the juice dribble down my chin a little. I felt a soft touch on my shoulder, and I looked back at him curiously.

He leaned forward, lifting my chin a little so I looked directly into his dilated pupils, a deep shade of pink on his cheeks, lips slightly parted.

I jumped back, feeling heat creep into my cheeks. "What are you doing!?"

He took a few steps back himself, blinking quickly. "I...don't know..." He sounded confused himself.

I rubbed my hands together uncomfortably. "Are you...ya know...gay?"

He raised a thin, angular eyebrow. "I'm afraid I don't know what that is."

"Well...it's when...you like...like guys." I stared down at the ground. Was I really having this conversation?

"Well," Despite how composed he looked, there was still a bit of red on his cheeks. "I just thought your lips looked soft-" I put a hand to my lips, "I thought I would like to taste them..."

Great, stupid's a horny teenager. I could've laughed at the situation. "I don't care- well obviously I don't want you to..." How did two guys together even work? "Kiss me, but don't let the townsfolk know; they'll kick your ass worse than they do mine." I snorted at my horrid phrasing.

"They hurt you? Doesn't the law enforcement do anything?" His eyes narrowed slightly.

"Not like they'd ever get off their asses." I began leading him down the mountain, seeing my house come into sight. "Come on, my house is right there." I opened the door, shedding my shoes and reaching up on my tipy toes for a note on the ice box my mom left. "Don't just stand there stupid." I said to the silver haired studying my living room suspiciously.

"How old are you?" He asked as I started my mother's record player.

"Thirteen- though I turn fourteen on the nineteenth this month- you?" I relaxed, hearing to smooth jazz, I slumped down on the couch with a book.

"Sixteen, I'm not sure which day I was born." He added the last part hesitantly.

No wonder he was so tall. "That's fine, you loose your parents or something?" I flipped a few pages distractedly looking for my bookmark. I saw him nod out of the corner of my eye, continuing with my one sided conversation. "I don't remember my dad, mom says he died, but I don't remember. He studied the planet." I added nonchalantly, "I found some of his research material in the attic, you can read it if you want."

When he didn't move I stood, tossing a shoe at the string hooked to the ceiling so that it fell down. Climbing onto the couch, I jumpted forward- musing my weight to drop the stairs down as the unfolded above me. Cautiously, the stairs creaked under his weight, and I followed him there; my fathers books were crammednonto shelves, a desk with papers sprawled across it. "What's in there?" He looked at a metal case that looked rather shiny compared to the age of all the other aged belongings.

"Duno, it's locked." I shrugged. "Mom says its stuff she got from dad, but I've never seen her open it."

He nodded, walking over to the desk and read a random file, his eyes widening slightly as he continued reading. "These...are very detailed notes." He nodded, placing it back on the desk. "We shouldn't read these, hurry downstairs." He gently brushed my back with his fingers beofre flinching at the contact.

"It's fine, you can touch me, just not below the waist. " I assured, stepping back down the stairs, and he used his devastating height to close the attic door.

His eyes gleamed thoughtfully. "Not below the waist?"

 _Where am I?_ I sat up a little, the deer like creatures already up and moving, intelligent gold eyes looked back at me; one coming up behind me to nudge my backside, wriggling between my side and my arm- almost encouraging me to lean on the young buck.

"Thank you," I petted the bend between the ear and the horn in rewards, hobbling along with the herd. I thought back to my dream, wondering if I had conjured that dream as a coping method; since the Shinra poster boy had long been my idol.

I snorted; real or not, I didn't feel like the silver general of SOLDIER, not even close.

It was almost pathetic.


	2. Chapter II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, those deer were based off of the ones I saw in the wildlife trailer I saw for FF15 and OH GODS IT LOOKS SO SUPER SEXY!!! I can't wait for it, honestly I think I'll spend so many hours playing it when it comes out in like...a year or two....sob....sob....sob......
> 
> 06/19/2015 I just wanted to get this over with cause I want to work more on Dollhouse.

I could've cried when I sat down on a rock, the mountain overlooked the forest easily, and the moon was high into the sky, taking a sip from my canteen I leaned back to gaze at the stars. From the meager lessons in astronomy (the Shinra navigation classes were useless) I recognized a few constellations as another trout was dropped into my lap. Even eating hurt.

"Thank you." I petted the female deer in reward (ignoring my sore limbs that moaned in protest), she nuzled my cheek affectionately. I grimaced, biting into the raw fish for fear of lighting a fire in such a high place, and quickly discovered if you didn't smell it, or swallowed it whole, it didn't tasted too bad. _I wasn't sure when I fell asleep, but a small part of me welcomed the dream._

I stared down at my morning wood, which smiled happily at me through the sleeping pants. _Go away you dick_ , I internally growled walking into the bathroom to get a shower started. I poked at the flushed head, firmly griping my length at the base and giving it a few strokes. I bit my lip, closing my eyes and enjoying the warm pleasure the strokes offered.

"Cloud, why was-" I froze, staring at Sephiroth with wide eyes through the glass.

Green eyes widened into saucers, his pupils dilating to their fullest as a pink hue spread onto his pale skin.

"Don't look." I shrank back, turning a little and covering my throbbing member.

"Can I watch?" He practically purred, his voice becoming husky as he looked at me through half lidded eyes hungrily.

"No! Get out you pervert!"

A shrill cry startled me awake, dazed I stumbled up, wondering what the hell happened to gravity as the ground disappeared beneath me; I grunted as my side slammed into the rock, the thundering of hooves above me and growing distant as I rolled to a stop.

My fingers twitched, but my limbs were too heavy to move I couldn't even feel them as it suddenly became a hundred degrees under the rising sun. I glowered at the swollen purple mark and the two holes in the center. _I did not get bit by a snake while having a wet dream._ Sitting up, I held my arm down, wondering what the hell to do now that it was becoming difficult to think.

"Do not move, boy." A distant voice said grimly. " _There is a worse fate that awaits you._ "

Sephiroth, leaned back on the wall indifferent- excluding the red blush staining his cheeks- as I glowered at him from my bed. "Are you thinking perversely?"

He nodded.

"Why?" I crossed my arms firmly over my chest despite my own blush by his previous actions.

"You looked perfect with-" Came his blunt reply before I interjected with a stuttered; "stop."

I slapped my cheeks in an effort to compose myself (no I was not breathing heavily, thank you very much you sadistic author) breathing deeply as I continued. "It's not like- I mean, it's... it was weird, but what do you usually do...when you...ya know?"

"Exercise." His pupils dilated slightly. "I realize it was inappropriate, and I apologize." It didn't quite seem like what he wanted to say, but I rolled my eyes.

"I'm fourteen, it's not like I'm a total noob." I groaned with a blush.

"I see. Then I request when you're older you allow me to touch you." He stood- he had somehow grown taller in the past few months I've known him and developed broader shoulders that sometimes made me envious.

"No! Go away pervert!" I snapped, throwing a pillow at him- which he easily side stepped. It had taken him a while to learn when I said go away, I didn't mean actually go away, just wait for me to calm down. I groaned, happy stick returned with a proud salute. Actually that hurt, so wrapping the blanket tightly around my body, I put on my loosest pair of pants. "Let's go exercise."

I almost slapped him for that triumphant smirk playing on his lips. "Nice pants." He said placidly.

I awoke with my hands bound over my head, a man with dark skin looking down at me solemnly. "Where am I?" I rasped.

He held a flat bowl to my lips, dark eyes swelling with guilt. "Save your energy, you have painful times ahead boy."

I lapped at the water greedily. "What's your name?"

His eyes widened a fraction, replying with that same thick accent. "Not one you can pronounce. But since none ask, you may call me Meiyo Otoko."

I feel silent absorbing the information. "Meiyo, what's going to happen to me?" The man grimaced, holding a mixture to my lips, hoping I would never learn what was in it as I drank it.

"You will most likely die, little one." He finally admitted, sitting down on the bed and cleaning the bowls with a water bottle.

I looked about the tent, curiously- spotting a haphazardly hidden camera I looked around more, spotting a metal case on it's side on a metal table. I couldn't die- I had to get back, to my mom; I promised her I would come back (as SOLDIER, but I don't think she'd be displeased by the jaded interest) nonetheless, I was grateful. "Where am I?"

"A small mountain off the cost of Wutai." He answered lowly, confirming my suspicions on his heritage. I shuddered, think about the orders I received once to kill any Wutai insurgence I saw.

"Shinra?" I whispered, and he gave a curt nod. Figures, I tensed at the sound of footsteps, and sure enough helmeted infantrymen- two, one taller than the other- stepped in, pushing the tent flap aside with their rifles on their back, a strap wrapping around the blue fabric around their torso that made me feel bare with only my pants and boots to wear.

They walked over to me, untying my bonds and dragging me outside- the harsh light burning my eyes as I studied the other infantrymen going about their duties. I was brought to a tent where brown eyes fell on me, a tall and slender man in a lab coat smiled eagerly at me. "Hello child? What was your name again? Oh well it's not as if it's important, we can always give you another one interesting how names work, yes?" He made a gestures, and I struggled against the strong arms that ripped off my last shred of decency.

I shuddered as they pinned me to a cold metal table, the metal bonds clamping down on my wrist. He whimpered, chewing on my lip as he jammed a needle into my arm.

"Oops." He pulled the needle out, "missed." He chuckled as he jammed it in again, and I held back a scream as my body began to burn- groaning, I barely registered that he was talking to me again. "You know, buddy, I'm rather intrigued by you- you're so weak! Pathetic! But yet you," he took out a pair of scissors, "lasted longer than all the others you saw, it was odd- and I was so impressed. I admire a smart human- don't you buddy?"

A scream caught in my throat as he dugs the blade into my stomach, my teeth scraping against the blood that flooded my mouth as I let out a pained grunt.

"You survived a bite from an escaped snake specimen, and the Shika accepted you- Wutai legend says that they only accept those acknowledged by their gods; which of course raises more questions-" I jerked, holding back scream as he began to cut the skin, tears streaming down my face; "now buddy, I need you to be still- or don't. I usually don't appreciate self destructive habits, but whatever helps." Peeling the skin back, I squeezed my eyes shut. "No, don't do that buddy, I would hate to burn off those pretty eyes of yours trying to keep them open."

I glared at him through blurred vision as white hot pain flared in my stomach. I almost vomited at the sight of the thin, hair like muscles over some organs. I think my stomach just twitched. Gaia that's disgusting.

"See buddy, you've got beautiful internal structure." His finger prodded at a pink, lumpy piece I was sure was my intestines. "Perfectly healthy." The organ shrank back, blood pooling as I tried not to scream. "And very responsive." He folded my skin back and I almost sighed in relief until I saw him take out a small sewing needle. "You're doing great buddy, the others weren't even awake when I did this to them- let alone alive." He laughed. "How ironic that the weakest link made the strongest chain. Say, what do you think makes once more applied for purposes when least prepared?"

I yelped as he jammed the needle through my skin, his words lost as my head fell back and whimpered. I felt it, pushing the skin as it began to poke through, the loop that carried the string stretching the hole around it, and the wire rubbing the raw nerves as it was tugged on roughly.

"...Buddy, don't give up now, you're doing so well." Dazed, I glared up at the brown haired man who just smiled with a shrug as he repeated the process. "So, you tried out for SOLDIER, huh? It's good you didn't stick around, they were going to fail you anyways." I felt my chest throb. He prepared another needle after he finished the stitches, this time I saw the glowing green liquid inside. "Mako," he stuck the needle into my left arm this time, "this is a pure extract- not of the diluted stuff they give new recruits.

The burn wasn't as bad, but it still burned horridly- feeling my consciousness drifting off, I looked at the computer monitor, the characters and lights blurring together.

"I'll let you relax for now- you deserve it after how well you've done so far- no screaming though, I don't like screaming. Say, what kind of alleles gave you hair like that..." his voice faded away, replaced by another.

" _Are you sad_?" A soft voice called, I turned back to look at owlish pale blue eyes, a boy with wild blonde spikes and long strands falling between his shoulders. He looked so frail with his almost transparent skin.

"I...should I be?" I sat in front of him, feeling the cold blades of grass under my hands that supported my body, my legs outstretched in front of me. "I don't feel...it." I smiled up at the tall mountain blacking the sun. "I miss ma."

He smiled at me sadly "I do too. Do you remember her stew?" He sat down next to me, hugging his thin legs.

I chuckled. "Yeah. Killed a wolf once for it- then she told me that it was just a name, and that she actually used beef." I gigged at the memory. "We had actual Nibel Wolf Stew anyways."

"Sephiroth loved it."

I frowned. "I don't remember him."

Sad blue eyes looked up to meet mine. "You wouldn't, you fell down the bridge, remember?"

"But I was..." I was fine, it was Tifa who got hurt. Was there something I was missing? What happened that night? "Wait, don't go!" I reached out for him as the wind began to howl.

" _Remember me, will you_?" A deep voice- one that didn't belong to me- begged.

My eyes snapped open, and I noted the dull ache in my stomach as I attempted to move my stiff arms. When they didn't move I craned my neck back, wincing when it made an audible crack, looking up at the wooden post that held my raw wrist with rope.

"Good morning Junjou, here, drink." Meiyo held a flat bowl to my lips as I just started noticing what else hurt as I caught sight of my reddened finger tips. I gawked at the clear nubs regrowing into the missing nails that were definitely there the last time I was conscious. "Bastard took my fingernails!" They throbbed in response.

"Unfortunately, at is not all he did." Meiyo replied sedately. I snorted in disgust, thinking of how terrifying it was to not now what was going on with my body for once in my life. "The mako- you've sweated it all out."

My eyes widened in disbelief. "All of it?" Was that even possible?

"Yes, mako of that concentration is harmful to your body. Most die within hours if the mako can not safely exit the body. You were convulsing for three days, it took two more for your fever to break, and a another two for you to wake." He explained, his broad shoulders slightly lowered. "That is strange...even for SOLDIERS."

"I'm from Nibelhiem." I thought back to the distant memories of my dream. "There's a lot of mako springs there- a reactor too."

Meiyo's brown eyes widened slightly. " Nebelheim?"

I nodded, wondering if the Wutai had ever hear of it before. The rain pounded relentlessly on the tent as the wind howled outside. When had it started raining? The tent flapped open, letting in the chilly air as two different infantrymen cut the rope holding my arms in place.

Don't take me there, I pleaded as the mud they dragged me through caked my legs. Please, stop. I was strapped down to a metal chair this time, shivering violently- from the fear, or from the cold I didn't know.

"Hey buddy, I realized I forgot to give you my name before you fell asleep; I'm the doctor, what's your name?" I remained silent as he stuck a needle in my neck, I cringed and he frowned, pulling the needle out. "I'm just taking a blood sample." He pouted. I kept myself still as a line of red trickled down to my collar bone. Satisfied he studied the results. "Amazing! The mako completely diffused from your system through perspiration!"

I glared at him defiantly as he began to attach a series of wires to my chest. What the hell was he doing?

"Okay buddy, every time lighting strikes I'm going to give you a little shock," he said as he once again injected mako into my arm. "You can scream all you want today since you behaved so well last time. The results were rather productive, wouldn't you say so buddy?"

I let out a yelp as he pressed down on a button, thunder rolling outside and electricity surging throughout my entire body. I panted, feeling like a hot brand was clamped around me as my vision blurred. There was a flash of light, and once again I arched my back with a whine, internally I chided myself as I began to cry.

"Rain's pretty nice, isn't it buddy?" The doctor commented, complacently. He hummed a tune as the stench burning flesh filled my nostrils after he pressed the button a third time. "Nice and soothing..." another shock, "I used to love the rain, so cold and wet- unlike the sun, which I find more akin to fire with its inconsistent nature. But then again," four more, " all nature is like that. Say, do you think it's because the planet is trying to remind humans of their place in this world?" How many? "We humans take...destroy...kill..." How long has it been?

" _It'll be alright._ "

For the first time; I screamed.


	3. Chapter III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Junjou means Pure heart, pure love, and naivety in Japanese, in case you were wondering.

"Ahhh!!!! You're gay!" She squealed, bouncing up and down excitedly.so that her glasses bounced on her nose. "This is so great! The perfect uke and seme!" Gaia, those breast though... She pushed her glasses up with her fingers, grinning from cheek to cheek. "This is perfect! You two can model for me!" She opened her window wider, pulling us in.

Why are we crawling into the window of a girl with gigantic breast and modeling boy love for her? Well it all started with a mission; to show Sephiroth the wonders of boobs in the most efficient way possible- though not the most honorable, so I wouldn't encourage anybody to sneak out in the middle of the night and peak through the windows of unsuspecting teenage girls- but everything backfired!

Well, I guess this wasn't as bad as the predominant risk of Mayor Lockhart using us for target practice. That thought was immediately mauled by a dragon as Sephiroth's lips crashed down onto mine, his tongue flicking out to lick my upper lip as I stared at him wide eyed. Mia scribbled furiously on a sheet of paper, looking back and forth between us.

"What are you doing?" I pushed him back, feeling my cheeks burn. "You're not supposed to kiss guys."

Green eyes stared into mine, his pupils wide and lips slightly parted. "Why not."

"Cause you don't-" he rest of the sentence was silence by his mouth, his tongue seeking the opportunity to explore my mouth, nudging my own tongue encouragingly. He pulled away again, a thin line of a saliva connecting our lips as I panted heavily. "I- like girls, n-not boys..."

"Then like me instead." He pulled me in for another kiss. "Only me."

"Ah! That was perfect!" Mia exclaimed throwing her hands up in the air.

Pushing Sephiroth away I stepped into the closet, trying to will away the blush making my face warm. "Step out of the closet." I growled, reaching for the closest thing and opening the door to throw it at him; it was then in my moment I realized Sephiroth had never seen a bra before by the way he called it a strange "instrument of torture".

The first thing that I noticed; I strapped down to the table; the second was that everything was painted in striking detail, I lifted my head, hearing the metal groan as it bent. I looked up at the blub flickering over my head; the specs of dust drifitoing around it as the doctor smiled down at me, the knife in his hand reflecting the light. "You still with me buddy? Probably not." He laughed. "Take, take take, why don't they? You're different, aren't you buddy?"

My hand wrapped around his, slamming the knife into his socket in one fluid motion, blood splattering from the mush of blood and tissue, I snapped the neck of a guard who approached, while the other made an inhuman snarl and tackled me to the ground; I pushed him back with my new found strength, bashing his skull with a metal tray, the bone cracking beneath it as blood protruded from the broken skin. I ignored the red, creased, organ poking out from underneath the blood stained bone, standing on shaky legs as the doctor howled in pain, falling unconscious. Dragging his limp body, I warily looked at the infantrymen who approached me hesitantly.

Meiyo stood in the rain, silver case oin hand as he aimed a gun at the doctor, silently retreating with me into the forest- I blinked in an attempt to clear my double vision, dragging the doctors as we walked. The sound of rushing water grew closer a waterfall with swirling mist and jagged rocks. I tree him down, slapping his face. "Wake up, _buddy_."

Meiyo opened his silver case, taking out a long knife with a curved blade. "This is for the suffering of my people- the suffering of others- the victims of your twisted experiments." He snarled.

"You can't kill me! I gave you two life!" The doctor howled as my foot pinned his unbroken wrist to the ground.

"Humans _take_ , they _take_ so much don't they? What makes you different _buddy_?" I growled, glowering down at him as rage swelled in my stomach. "You took- destroyed- you're such a foolish human aren't you? No important than the rest!"

Meiyo lowered the blade to his stomach with a quick swipe, kicking him down the cliff. We watched for a little, eventually till my legs gave out beneath me and my breathing slowed.

"Rest little Junjou, you did well." Came Meiyo's soothing voice as I began to drift into unconsciousness.

I didn't have a single dream that night.

I awoke on a bed- or rather a futon on the floor, looking at the paper ceiling and glaring at the giant lizard that licked my eye. "You-!" I jerked up, gasping in pain as pain swelled in every fiber of my being. I glanced down at the bloodied bandages wrapped around my arms, torso- some peeking though the low hanging hamaka I was dressed in.

A shoji door slid opened and a young woman in a kimono stepped in, her geta barely making a sound against the wooden floor. "My father wishes to speak with you over afternoon tea." She gave a small bow. "Do you require assistance dressing yourself?"

I flipped over, testing my strength as I stood. I felt weaker than ever, but I could stand; I shook my head, accepting the yukata she passed me, and fastening the sash.

Meiyo sat with his knees folded beneath him, blowing into a cup of clear liquid. "Come junjou, sit, drink. It is custom in my village to offer tea to our comrades, as well to welcome home our warriors."

I sat across from him, feeling slightly uncomfortable. I killed those men for Jo reason- their families. I felt sick.

"You bow like this in thanks here." he explained knowingly.

A woman, hunched with age, laughed. "Grandson says Junjou good learner! Don't disappoint Ba junjou."

"Shao's experiments still live, and your former comrades are well beyond reason. The council agrees to a mutual relationship: you learn our ways in exchange for shelter, for helping me capture Shao." The man, set his cup down on the table. "Are you ready to learn, junjou?"

Slowly I nodded, taking a poong sip of my tea, the warm liquid spreading to the rest of my stomach.

While I healed, the elders taught me about the different herbs, and their purposes; they educated me on their history, gods and discipline I slowly learned how wrong Shinra was. Wutai- even if it was just a small faction of it, was rich with history and customs, the cooking was complex and diverse: I struggled with the dialect during my first month (which Meiyo's daughter, Miyuki continued to tease me about) and by the time I started seeing a physician I sat awkwardly in front of Ba, who took a long smoke from her wooden pipe.

"Here Naivety, smoke." She urged in Wutai.

The arid smoke burned my lungs and I coughed, attempting again with much more success as I tested the tobacco flavor in my mouth.

"Do you not like thunder?" She inquired, referring to a particular night when it was raining and I had hyperventilated.

"It's..." I shuddered, recalling the electricity that had burned my entire body every time the Doctor tested my electrical resistance. "Stupid."

"Foolish terms you use Naivety!" She huffed. "The gods do not give us trials to overcome for 'stupid' reasons. Close your eyes, feel the I guidance...breathe deeply...breath out...this land...it welcomes you....life...can you sense it?"

It was like a small warm flame around my hand, offering it's warmth. "It's comforting."

"Your parents, pure heart, tell Ba about them." She urged.

"I lived with my ma, it was just me and her. Dad died when I was young so I don't remember him." I thought back to the blonde haired woman. "She was sad most of the time, looking out the window a lot." I hesitated as I added the last part. "But sometimes when she's hunting, she gets this look in her eye right before she kills. I think she's killed...people..."

"Your father. Had he left?" She raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Probably." I shrugged. "He didn't die in Nibelheim."

"Your friends?"

I laughed, "there was this crazy chick- older, busty, crazy chick who was completely obsessed with this crap called boy love. She made Seph and me model for her." I shook my head. "She changed a lot, cause she was scared of what other people thought about her, but I think she's okay now."

Ba nodded thoughtfully. "And your friend, Seth?"

I didn't correct her: "he was strong- a total pervert too, but he protected me from the other brats in the town." I snorted at them. "He...asked me to like him- when we were younger." I blushed. "I mean, it was nice in all but..,how does that even work?"

"Light meals are best." She smiled knowingly. "Sex has never been a clean act."  
I laughed. "yeah, I'm just worried I'll piss in the middle of it."

"How do you imagine your partners? Yes, it's embarrassing, but it's necessary for a conclusive diagnosis." She poked at the wax spiral slowly crumbling.

"Um... I haven't really, cause I was busy focusing on training when I was a Cadet and...." I shuddered.

"Of course, come, let us meditate." I closed my eyes, letting out a breath as I felt that familiar warmth return. I felt it curl around me, embracing me encouragingly.

" _You'll be alright_." A woman assured.

For the first time, it truly felt right to let my mind wander off for once.


	4. Chapter IV

I swung from the branch I was one, landing crouched on a lower one I silently apologized to a bird I startled upon my landing. It chirped happily, poking at my hair abrasively I held back a snort staying focused on the black helicopter in the clearing, a red head stretching out his back while a large bald man in a blue suit studied the terrain through his dark sunglasses.

They were turks- no doubt, the rumored intelligence department to send unwanted attention away in a body bag. Pulling the large bird skull over my eyes I leaned forward, bounding towards the duo. "The fuck-" the red head started as I swung my leg up at him in a wide arch from my crouched landing. He jumped back, procuring a rod from his coat that sparked with electricity.

The second man charged at me with a kick, that I easily dodged by hopping back, raising my forearm to block a strike from the turk. He looked at me I'm disbelief as the electricity prodded at my muscle. The other swung his fist, taking the rod into my hand I pulled it so that the rod connected with his fist instead. "State your business." I snapped.

"Quite the welcoming party, yo." The red head glared, three strands of hair falling over his blue eyes. "You one of those Wutai insurgents?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "No, only a peaceful village. Why are you here?"

He pulled a gun from his coat, which I snatched away easily with a twist of his wrist. "Fuck- probably wouldn't of worked anyways." He grumbled. "Look birdie, we're Turks see? If you fuck with us you end up dead, ya catch my drift?"

"I know that." Annoyed, I snorted. "I know that better than you think; I asked what are you here for?"

The bald man raised an eyebrow. "One of our scientist requested assistance."

I felt cold suddenly. "Trinton Shao." I said grimly, feeling nauseous.

"Yours truly, now how do you know the crazy doctor?" The red haired man replied smoothly with a grin.

"I request Quid pro quo, and that we exchange our names." I sat down in front of them. "No weapons either." I looked pointedly at the redhead who, sat down across from me, stretching out his lithe figure.

"Whatever, yo. Name's Reno, don't forget it." He dropped a pocket knife beside him.

Not quite what I wanted, but I followed suit, abandoning my inventory beside me. I paused at my mask, reluctantly, I placed it on my lap. "Cloud Strife." Hey glanced at each other peculiarly, then back at the six blades that made my sword.

"Rude." The bald turk answered. "How do you know Shao?"

"I was his test subject- before I watched him 'fall' off a waterfall with his stomach cut open and his eye missing." I couldn't help but feel a little proud at that.

"Damn, I swear those creeps are like cockroaches in human skin." Reno snorted. "What do ya want to know Blondie?"

"Why the doctor requested assistance." I looked at the determinedly.

"Classified, do you know General Sephiroth?" Rude cut in.

"Yes."

"Are you his childhood friend?"

"...I think so." I answered hesitantly. "My physician says I'm suffering from memory lapses."

"Oh great we got a crazy- why is all the hot ones!" Reno cried, throwing up his hands in frustration.

"Good sex." I joked.

Reno blinked at me. "I like him, can we keep him?" A lopsided smirk slowly spread on his lips. "You'd make a good truk kid."

"Don't call me kid." I rolled my eyes at his antics. "How do you know who I am?"

"A totally bat shit crazy author- who's friends with the General for some reason- came in and yelled at thre boss, demanding to know why she couldn't see her dorks- bitch went totally crazy when I tried to get her to back off, and then that walking box of testosterone came in and she gomped him!" Reno ranted in disbelief. "Bitch wouldn't stop telling him that if he didn't look after you better that his ' _uke_ ' would become a _'seme'_ \- I looked that shit up by the way- and that's how we found that you had been missing on a mission to Wutai that never reported back."

I growled. "Not exactly. Most of them were already dead, the others were suffering from mako addiction and insanity."

"What do ya mean mako addiction?" Reno raised an eyebrow. "There's no mako here."

"He's been injecting the infantrymen with mako, aren't turks know to these things?"

Reno shot me a glare as he flipped open his PHS. "Yo boss, you were right, but it's worse than we thought." He fell silent. "We found the kid." He looked back at me with a wide grin. "Yeah, dude's a fucking looker- yeah I know, thanks ma!"

I snorted, looking to Rude, " this happen a lot?"

He nodded, watching Reno as he turned back to us. "So, what do ya say to apprehending a crazy scientist, yo?" He grinned.

I was already reaching for my weapons. "I call dibs." I growled, spinning on my heel to walk away, hearing the other's faint footsteps behind me. Of course, I didn't trust them because they were trucks, but Reno and Rude were alright.

"So how long you've been here Blondie?" Reno swung his mag rod at a lizard that was eyeing them hungrily.

"I don't know. I stopped keeping track of time after...." When? " I don't remember."

"When did it start?" Rude spoke up, swatting at a few bugs.

"After I fell off the bridge, I forgot Sephiroth, my dad and few years." I shrugged, passing them an incense that would keep the insects away.

"Sucks forgetting probably the most powerful hunk in the world." Reno snorted. "Ya know, he said that he didn't even realize that you came to Shinra?"

I felt my stomach sink a little after hearing that. "So, he's doing well then?" Of course he was, he was the most admired and respected man in the world.

"Yeah, he's got a few friends- this one guy is a total boy scout too- two of them are commanders, I'm pretty sure they're all fucking each other though." Reno snorted.

"Good for him." I was happy for him- he moved on, unless he was never stuck in the first place.

"So what do ya say to a drink when this is all over?" He grinned, eyeing me once- instinctively I looked down at the black robes I wore, wondering when I had gotten such a thing in the first place- the faint smell off smoke flooding my nostrils.

"Do you smell smoke?"

"Yeah, its you." Reno frowned. "You forgetting something?"

"Yeah...a...man. I think he saved me...Wutai..." I grimaced as my head began to throb.

"We're here." Rude announced, a large clearing in front of us and a maze of tents made me want to vomit.

"It smells of death." I commented softly, looking about the barren landscape.

Reno, suddenly quiet pushed open a tent flap with a disgusted scowl. "Shit- they're dead." A few flies drifted out with the stench and suddenly my legs felt weak.

"The tent- it's over there." Why did this seem so familiar? Cautiously I followed, stiffening at the sight of the rotton black body with it's limbs dismembered.

_"Don't! Stop!"_

Why could I hear it?

" _No_!"

I clutched my head, recalling the suffocating smoke that swelled in my chest as I raced past the flames. "Meiyo! Sensei Meiyo! Where are you?!" I howled, raising my arms as hot ashes swirled up, a wooden plan collapsing in front of me. "Meiyo! Sensei! Where are you?!"

"...Junjou..." His skin was burned red, cracked and some parts partially luminous with the remaining embers, half his hair gone. "You should not have returned."

I collapsed to my knees. "Why...did this happen?"

He lowered his head in shame, his remaining black hair falling to his shoulders. "I have failed my people... He lives," he answered grimly.

The doctor was alive?

"What...will happen?"

He sighed, shifting with great effort. "Little Junoju, I ask...you to carry my burdens. As my last selfish request." He smiled bitterly. "The sword of a great warrior who fought the darkness rest on this island. The strife in his heart guided him in his fight against the darkness...as it will you..."

"Sensei..."

"Cloud Strife...how ironic."

Weakly I stood, watching as the flames swallowed him. I stumbled out into the dirt, sharing back at the house as the screams and machine gun fire faded. I sighed, looking up at the smoky sky.I felt a weight press into my side, soft fur nuzzling my cheek gently. I turned my head, meeting intelligent gold eyes.

" _Hello again_."

I woke up wet, but I was warm. The distorted blue light above me shimmering brilliantly. Oh Leviathan, I couldn't breath! I gasphed, jumping to my feet and shaking my head wildly, the warm drops of water rolling down my skin.

An amused snort startled me, and the large white deer watched me in mild amusement. I took a step back into something solid- a blade with diverging lines throughout it- the kind of sword you only see a SOLDIER use.

I took the sword that was partially submerged in water, marveling at the feel of worn leather in my hand. It was heavy- good Gaia it was heavy. I gave it an experimental swing, and it drooped sadly in my hands. I frowned, setting it back when the deer stomped in protest.

It's eyes were encouraging.

I took it, dropping it as it split apart. "Shit! I...gaia,." I breathed, reaching for the largest blade. It wasn't as heavy, but it still was- eventually I managed to drag all six blades out of the water as more deer watched in amusement. After many attempts, I figured out how's to put it back together.

What kind of psychopath used that kind of sword?

An idea pooped into my head. Angrily I hefted the sword onto my back, making a makeshift harness out of some leather straps, storming out of the cave while bloodlust surged throughout my muscles in anticipation.

That man was going to pay.

Most of the kills were a blurr, one fluid movement as I swung my sword low, occasionally cleaving some in half with the bare weight of the sword- though the blood was a different story. It stained everything, coated everything, it was everywhere. Adrenaline kept me moving as a small flash of pain spread in my shoulder- stroking into the tent I glowered at the brown haired man who smiled at me with one eye.

"Hey buddy, you're not looking so good. Did the fire get to you?" He laughed. "Too bad all those Wutai are dead- they have such interesting views - you're avenging them aren't you?"

"Do them a favor; die." I growled, stepping closer. Just kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him, kill him, just do it. Wordlessly I bounded forward shoving him into the chair and stealing him down.

"What are you doing!?" He yelped in pain as the electricity made him scream.

I glanced at the panel curiously. "Different settings..." I hummed. I took a hot coal from the box I knew he kept them in, and the saw with it, watching his face pale in horror. "I wonder how long you'll last, _buddy_."

The arm- it was so hard to saw through both bones, and he kept screaming, blood kept going everywhere as I grunted in frustration, admiring the gaping holes in the first home as it snapped. "Wow this is hard. " I huffed, shoving the coal into the limb as it made a satisfying hiss.

He wailed, his head taking back as I shoved a needle into his chest, sinking in with ease as he thrashed in pain. "Nope, stay awake, you're not allowed to sleep after all you've put them through. Deeming his blood loss was significantly reduced since the bone was no longer gushing blood, I continued to saw his arm off, the man crying and sobbing. "Did they cry as you cut them open?" I snarled, reaching over to press the button, electricity sparking throughout the wires.

He stilled, and I started the wires again. A few more times and he still, I growled taking my sword and heaving off each limb till I collapsed, breathing heavily. I stared back up at the gore, shoving myself off the ground.

Vomiting, and shaking I pulled each body into the tents, vomiting more when I piled up parts of people.

The blonde on my hands wouldn't go away. Even when I scrubbed my skin, it stuck to my clothes, the smell, the color, it stuck underneath of my fingernails, my hair- it wouldn't go away.

Everything was silent.

The silence was unbearable.


	5. Chapter V: Interlude

I sighed, working out my sore muscles and kicking the geta off my blsitered feet after a long session of training- once again I was lost. "Are you Cloud?" An energetic voice startled me from my thoughts that were verbally insulting myself for my wtistef sense of direction that never seemed to work in large populated buildings.

"Yeah." She had long hair and a bright floral kimono- her eyes were a bright and luminous blue- like the SOLDIER infused mako eyes- like the sky itself was compacted with such intensity of her irises.

"I'm Akuma!" She bowed slightly. "I'm Meiyo's middle daughter- pleased too meet you Cloud-kun."

"Just Cloud is fine." I smiled at her, looking around the garden space. "It's very beautiful." I admiered the dark petals of the plum trees.

"Thank you!" She mimicked a deep voice and giggled. "Ya know, since the trees can't talk. Say, your eyes are just like mine! Though not as bright- more clear, like water." She hunmmed appreciatively leaning forward to study my face. Suddenly she blushed. "You're cute!"

I reeled back, feeling heat creep into my cheeks. "Cute?"

"Like...really cute....like...cutecute cute..." She leaned closer, and I leaned back. "How are you so cute?"

"Um...I guess...I just look like this..." I stuttered, glaring down at the wooden floor with a furious blush. "I should go practice my kata-"

"You're a warrior?!" She pulled me down to the grass, unhooking my blade from it's sheath and presenting it to me. "Here, show me what you can do!" Obediently, I followed her instructions. "No, no! Your stance is all wrong. " she quickly moved to adjust me. " Just stand with your legs a little farther apart." Her hair caught the sunlight as bright blue eyes met mine. " "Hold your blade a little more to the side- that's it!"

It felt odd, standing like this, bit it was easier to move. "Thank you  
"No trouble, my adorable little bro!" She gave my hair a rough ruffle and I nearly balked at her strength.

"Little bro?" I repeated.

"Yep, just call me big sis okay?" She ruffled my hair affectionately again, much gentler this time in comparison.

" _Okay_."

I sat up, staring down at the water, I screamed diving into the water in the cave and scrubbed my skin furiously. "Get off." I sobbed, rubbing away at the dark crusted liquid sticking to my skin. "Why won't it come off!?"

A splash made me freeze. The Shika strode through the water with ease and nudged my hands away from the water, it's gold eyes shining bright.

Why is this happening to me? It's unfair!" I slammed my fist down angrily, my hands trembling. Why did I have to feel like this? I felt dirty- worthless, weak like garbage! "It's unfair! I want to go home..." My legs gave out beneath me, and the deer moved so I fell on him. "I never should've left...I want to go home...." Where was home? Nibelheim? Midgar? "Please.... I don't..."

I felt my body being pulled by warm hands, stroking my hair and chasing away the pain with soft touches. " _It'll be alright._ " A deep voice softly assured. (1)

I blinked, staring down that the shiny clean blade, puzzled I looked about my surroundings. "Did I fall asleep?" I stood, grunting when my head began to throb. What happened? I groaned, looking down at myself, satisfied to see no injuries. A low growl startled me and I looked across the pond to see a white, cat like creature with brilliant green eyes next to the deer.

The deer simply nudged the large cat on it's head, nuzzling it gently and causing a purr to escape the white cat's throat. It lowered it's head to the ground- though it's green eyes never moved from me, and I was beginning to feel self conscious. I laughed bitterly. Seems I still had that luxury.

I sat back, watching at the two creatures interacted- eventually the herd returned paying no mind to the cat- a few calves trotted in a little bigger than they had originally been when I first came to the cave. _Eventually I closed my eyes and began to drift off in a deep sleep._

"Cloud, what are you doing?" I heard Sephiroth from behind me, I turned back to stare at the silver haired man that frowned at me, then the door, then back at me.

"I'm going to school." I scowled, spitting the word from my lips.

He seemed to relax at that. "Oh. School."

I didn't even make it through the first hour, I panted as I rushed back inside, whimpering as my new injuries screamed out in pain. "Why are you still here?" I grunted as Sephiroth stepped out of the kitchen.

"Who did this!?" He stormed over to me, gripping my face roughly and inspecting my bruises. "Tell me!"

"(Vat) what do 'ya' care for?" I snapped, not caring about how thick my accent came out as I glared down at my bruised knuckles.

His eyebrows furrowed in frustration as his grip slackened slightly. "What does it mean- 'to care'?"

"Hopeless idiot." I grumbled, feeling my anger abating as his words sunk in. "It (iz) is like I care about you, you like (somvone) someone so much you (vant) want to make sure they are happy." I hesitated before I added. "Like I care about you."

"You care about me?" An almost invisible sheen of pink spread on his cheeks.

"Of course dummy- you're my..." I blushed. Oh Gaia I was never going to live this down. "First: you were my first friend...my first kiss....and I wouldn't mind if...you were...my first..."

His pupils dilated into wide circles. "Cloud. Please let me touch you." He sounded almost desperate. "A kiss- another kiss. I'm fine with just that."

"Okay." I nodded shyly. He gently caressed my bleeding lip, wiping it with his thumb he brought our lips together and guided my lips to move against his. His tongue flicked my bottom lip, and I reeled back feeling my face burn.

"Did I do something wrong?" He frowned, planting soft kisses on my cheeks.

"No...it's just embarrassing." He nodded, hesitating, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me onto the couch. "You're warm." I mumbled into his chest. "You're really warm." I hugged him, haphazardly leaning against him. "Warm."

"My body temperature is slightly higher." He explained.

"I don't care dummy... You're warm."

I felt as hand press against my forehead. "Cloud, did you fall asleep outside again?"

"No."

"Then why do you have a fever?"

"I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Nu-uh."

"Cloud, you have a fever, you should be sleeping."

"Nu-uh."

"Cloud."

"Nu-uh."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Nu-uh." I head him sigh, his arms held me a little tighter as I felt the couch disappear beneath me and the cold air on my back. "It's cold." I whined.

I heard him grumble, then the familiar scratchy blanket over my bed draped over me as my head rested on Sephiroth's chest. "Idiot... Cold...Shiva..." He grumbled.

"Tell me about your friends."

"My friends?" I nodded, feeling a strand of his bangs on my forehead. "...Genesis and Angeal...Genesis- he's an _idiot_." He snorted. "The two, I met them a little after the war started, and he kept trying to fight me; of course I would soundly defeat him, but he continues to challenge me."

"Sounds kind of like an _idiot_ I know." I mumbled. "What does he look like?"

"Red hair, parted slightly on one side, chin length, and blue eyes."

"And your other friend?"

"Much different. Humble, values honor and dreams- no matter how unrealistic it seems he somehow makes it more realistic- respectful to his commanding officers and usually does not indulge in foolish activities."

"Usually?"

"He sometimes assists in Genesis's schemes."

"They sound like good friends. I'm glad you found them."

"Cloud...are you lonely when I'm gone?" I cracked an eye open, looking up at him.

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I'm tired."

"Cloud."

"Goodnight."

"Don't go."

(2) I cracked an eye open, groaning at the pain in my abdomen and looking down at my shirt a thin silver scar on the skin. I rubbed my sore neck, looking questioningly up at the deer that laid next to that same cat scrutinizing me. "I'm sexy, I know." I sneered. Huh, seems like humor is intact too. The cat stood, walking low to the ground as it sauntered over to me, tilting it's head and pulling on my pants with sharp teeth. "Sorry, I don't carry cat nip."

It seems to roll it's eyes, pushing me to the ground and laying on top of me with a triumphant snort. I felt a wet nose nudge my cheek, looking up I gaped at the large black wolf that stared down at me. "I swear if you bring a Chocobo next I'll skin ya for breakfast." I threatened, and the wolf (twice the size of a Nibel wolf) let out a bark that I swear that I sounded like a laugh.

Oh _joy_. I was going crazy already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1 & 2) For those who are a little confused, this is were Cloud's memory lapses happen while he's stranded.


	6. Chapter VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whohoo, finally we're getting Cloud off that damn island!

So _dancing_.

Yeah _dancing_.

 _Sephiroth_ dancing.

Gaia, where's the giant rock that's crashing into the planet? I stared at the two SOLDIERs mimicked the figures on the screen with uncanny concentration that left me baffled and wondering if this was the same person I knew as a child. "Crazy right?!" Zack laughed beside me as Angeal took a sip from some carbonated drink that was popular. "Who would've guessed those two would know how to dance?"

"It may be surprising at first because of their...image...but those two are the biggest dorks alive." Angeal snorted. "I heard about your psych evaluation. Shame you can't go into the field yet."

My mother had given three people her report; Lazard, Sephiroth and I, but there was no assurance that other Turks couldn't view the information- which lead to visiting Sephiroith's office and trying to help Zack get him away from the mountain of paperwork. The four invited me to go with them- at first I had been a little stunned to see them in normal, civilian clothes, but I agreed after finding out I would be stuck at Shinra otherwise.

I watched in bemusement when Genesis glowered at the final score and the ' _you loose_ ' announcement. "And I thought your were left footed all this time." I teased to Sephiroth who looked at his score with a smirk of satisfaction.

The silver haired man's eyes widened slightly and he looked away with a cough. Genesis devoured the opportunity, teasing; "oh, what has you flustered, my love?" The dress shirt he wore was unbuttoned four buttons so it showed just enough of his muscular chest to make eyes linger.

"I...was..." He swallowed thickly. "I was thinking about you then." He admitted shamelessly.

"Really?" I blinked. He had been thinking about me even then? I couldn't help but smile like an idiot at that. I hadn't imagined it. It was real.

"Come on spike! Let's try to beat Sephiroth's high score!" Zack did a few squats before dragging me to the machine where I stood timidly on my panel. "Just copy the dancer in front of you, and if you feel comfortable try looking at the directions." Zack advised knowingly.

"Okay." It wasn't hard, it wasn't anywhere near the level that Sephiroth and Genesis were, but it was good exercise.

"Perfect Score!" The machine exclaimed, adding with flame graphics and a ' _winner_ ' font. "You're hot!"

"Awe." Zack pouted, throwing his arms around me. "I was gonna say that." I rolled my eyes, letting myself relax a little under his touch; keeping an arm around my shoulder as we returned back to the group he asked. "Where'd ya learn to do all that?"

I shrugged, following the others into the room.

"What? No way, you've never done this before?" He gasped in disbelief when I nodded. "You know, no one's ever gotten a perfect score on their first time-  even Sephiroth destroyed the damn thing on his first try."

"I...never done any of this before." I admitted. "There's not a lot to do in Nibelheim and I didn't... Get along with my unit...or anyone really..."

"Sure sounds like a small town- we didn't even get dirty mags in Gongaga." He pouted as we sat down on the cushioned seat attached to the walls.

"Zack- that's not appropriate reading material." Angeal sent the first a stern look.

"So, that's Angeal's excuse for-" Zack started, but quickly jumped up when Genesis scrolled past a song. "No! We have to do that one first!"

"Quiet puppy, we'll do that one later." The rad head rolled his eyes looking to Sephiroth. "Any request?"

"No. What do you want Cloud?" I would've jumped at being acknowledged by the usually quiet man, but Zack's arm reminded me that I was welcomed here.

"Uh..." I glanced at the music selections, "I don't know any of those."

"I'll go back a few years."

"I ...don't know those either..." I hung my head a little in an effort to hide my embarrassment. Come on Strife, you killed monsters three times your height! Pull yourself together!

"You memorize the entire layout of Shinra, but you neglect to indulge yourself in a little pop culture." Sephiroth teased- well I assumed he was teasing since his brow rose slightly, but other than that he was completely expressionless- causing me to frown.

"I don't think that's important."

"Not important!? Come on spike, everyone was listening to these songs!" Zack exclaimed in exasperation. "You're more of an old man than Angeal!"

"Old man club." I shrugged jokingly.

"Well I can see where Sephiroth gets his sense of humor." Angeal laughed, "and his range of expressions."

I thought I was expressive. Apparently that needed some work.

"Don't wrinkle your nose; you were never as expressive as you thought you were." Sephiroth quipped with a sly smile.

I wasn't wrinkling my nose, dummy.

"Yes, you were." He smirked.

"Well since asking Angeal is an unforgivable act, I'll choose the song." Genesis smirked tossing me a microphone. "The lyrics will appear on screen, so just read along." He added to me.

"Jazz won't kill you." Angeal rolled his eyes at the man.

I liked jazz. Ma used to play it whenever we were stuck in the house because it was too cold outside... it was when I had taught Sephiroth how to dance.

" _Come on dummy, just move your feet_." I whined, glaring at the silver haired teenager as my foot throbbed. Sephiroth stood in front of me, stooping slightly to accommodate me and his hands firmly on my waist- the other in my hand as I attempted to guide him through the movements. "Back, forward, back, it's not hard."

"I know." He frowned, stumbling backwards to avoid my foot.

"You suck." I stuck out my tongue as he once again crushed my foot under his behemoth of a shoe. "Your steps are too wide!"

"It would not be a problem if you weren't a midget." He finally growled.

"Cloud!" I felt a hand roughly shake my shoulder. I blinked, looking up at Angeal, his brows furrowed in concern and his bright mako infused eyes glowed slightly. "Are you alright?" Some of his hair fell forward on his shoulders when he shifted slightly,

"Yeah...I...you called me a midget!" I jumped up tossing whatever was in my hand at Sephiroth.

"Ah, so you remember?" He smriekd as he caught the microphone with ease.

I let out a slew of curses that would make a Junon sailor wash my mouth out with soap, throwing an empty tray (other than the wrappers that covered it) at him next, scowling when he caught it (again) with ease, and moved to my boots. "...Lily livered, pancake stealer, whoreson pervert! Mako wanker of a knave!!" I sat back down with a huff, glaring at the man as he knelt down before me and began to slide my feet back into the boots- careful to stay above the ankle with his hands.

From this angle it was easy to see how the man had changed, his lips were fuller and pink, his cheekbones higher and his eyes had flecks of blue on the outside of his iris- and his hair was longer, draping down his back and falling to the side slightly as he tied the last lace. He looked like he was a fictional character- handsome, strong and all of the above.

"You're still short."

"Bite me!" I snapped, folding my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"Very well then." I felt teeth scrape my neck, and Sephiroth's broad shoulder was all I could see. When had he gotten there? He stepped back and he was sitting across from me as if he hadn't even been next to me in the first place.

"Damn, it's already turning purple." Zack leaned a little closer, and I could tell how young he actually was by the subtle curves on his sharp features. "Does it hurt?" He poked at the nape of my neck with a long finger.

"No." I touched the tingling skin. I jumped hearing my PHS ring. "Sorry." I stood, flipping it open and walking towards the door. "Strife."

"Sorry to call when you're off duty, but could you come to my office for a mission?" I head Lazard ask.

"I thought I was unfit for duty presently?" I studied my surroundings, noting how the arcade was significantly emptier, I walked over to the counter asking the clerk to turn on the news with a handful of gestures. I swear I heard Zack laugh and say 'he said dodo'.

"... _the mass murder of SOLDIERs has the population baffled, and questioning the elite unit considerably. No further information has been released by the company but..._ "

"It's urgent."

Three SOLDIERs dead serious? "I'll be there." I jumped back when I turned around, the four standing behind me- no doubt overhearing the conversation with their enhanced hearing. "I...have to go."

"If you come back before ten, there's a lovely restaurant we'd like to take you to." Genseis purred, reaching out to run his fingers through my hair. "Don't worry about the suit; I'll take care if that for you."

"Thanks." I smiled waving to the others. "Goodbye."

"Cloud." Sephiroth called.

"Yeah?" I glanced back.

"Ask your mother for your weapons." He opened his mouth again, but then he quickly closed it.

"He means be safe." Angeal chuckled. "Remember, stay calm and you'll do fine."

"Good luck spike!"

"Thanks." I said one last time, walking out into the brisk Midgar air that smelled slightly foul, the tall skyscrapers kissing the sky in comparison to the spider web struckers when I had first came- advertisements flashing proudly above my head as I pushed through the crowd.

Shinra- the forty nine floor wasn't too hard to get to- but if you took the stairs in favor of not attempting to test your motion sickness...well...."So, three SOLDIERs dead urgent?" I quipped, stepping into the office and eyeing the black haired turkturk in a dark blue suit warily.

"Yes, though this is the first public homicide of this scale." He leanmed back in his chair with a frown. "Originally, it was a Turk investigation."

"And it's official turk business." I concluded. "And since I'm not SOLDIER yet I was the best option?"

"Yes, and your mother volunteered your services." The Wutai finally spoke. "I am Tseng, of the Turks."

"Right." She had? What was she thinking? I abandoned the thought- sometimes a Turk could make you run circles over and over in your head. "I assume you established a hunting ground?"

"Hunting ground?" Lazard raised an eyebrow.

"Most killers- animals and humans alike- don't stray to far from their dwelling when they pick out prey." I explained. "But at the same time they stay a safe distance away to not seem suspicious when they do kill- and therefore it can be assumed that the killer- or killer is an experienced one since that's basic knowledge." I concluded. "Well, in terms of hunting."

Dark eyes studied me carefully, before he inquired; " did your mother teach you?"

"If you count being thrown into a blizzard at the age of seven and left to fend for yourself 'teaching', then yeah." I snorted at the memory.

"Sounds like a Turk." He joked, eyebrows raising slightly in bemusement.

"Yep, you guys still throw yourselves at grenades for fun?"

"It's a tradition." He nodded, eyes glinting humorously.

Lazard watched the exchange with a raised eyebrow, eyes slightly wider behind his glasses. "I assume you'll have no problem being his partner for this investigation, then?"

"Not unless they changed the super secret handshake again." I smirked.

"Minor." The man snorted. "Say, let us talk in a more secure setting." He said in Wutai.

"Sure, are we going to the intelligence department?" I replied fluently.

"Yes, there's some material I need to brief you on." Tseng made a farewell gesture to Lazard, leading me out of the room and curious observing SOLDIERs while some side stepped away warily.

"I heard that everyone was scared of the Turks, hut I never thought that it would be this bad." I watched as a secretary jumped when she njotoced us passing in the midst of her conversation about how the light on her desk kept flickering.

"It's not very surprising when you consider what kind of work we do. Has your mother told you anything?" He cast a glance towards me, looking for a reaction.

"No, but sometimes just a look is enough." I replied knowingly.

He considered my response thoughtfully. "The I suppose you aren't as inclined to join the Turks if I suggested it?"

"Yeah." I shrugged, watching a few Turks pass quietly. "Somber." I noted.

"One of our own was killed in the investigation." He explained, no longer speaking in Wutai.

"That was the real reason you went to SOLDIER; because your Turk was compromised?" I fingered the pages of the folder that was handed to me.

"Yes. We need someone to study the bodies- we know the weapon was a blade,"  
"So you think that it was another SOLDIER?" I grimaced at the sight of the pictures that made my blood run cold. "Its...not." These were familiar? Why? Who killed those Cadets again? I gripped my head, feeling it throb. "Its..."

" _Come on Cloud! You can do better than that_!" A feminine, energetic voice exclaimed.

"Where do I know you?" I closed my eyes, searching for the memory.

"Strife?"

" _Just stand with your legs a little farther apart._ " She advised, a flash of black hair shined under the sun. " _Hold your blade a little more to the side- that's it_!"

 _Remember_ , I urged. In my hands were the black robes, neatly folded and in pristine conditio the rain making it slick and silver streaks of reflected light- luminous blue eyes glaring up at me and blood staining our hands.

_"I hate you."_

_"I hate me too..._ " I opened my eyes, recalling my next words with a shaky and uneven breath. "Akuma Otoko."


	7. Chapter VII

_Of all people it had to be you Akuma_. I glowered up at the lynched bodies, dread settling in the pit of my stomach and rearing it's ugly head in my throat and preventing me from speaking with the foul, rotton taste it left in my mouth. I made me way through sector eight, reassured by the familiar weight of my sword strapped to my back. "It's suicide." I looked to the infantrymen, then back to Tseng. "This is a warrior; trained to fight to the death when death is all she has to loose. They'll die."

"I can't do much." Tseng frowned, ignoring the wary glances the Infantrymen gave each other. "Heidegger managed to get 'majority riule'."

"Screw him; their lives are more important." I folded my arms over my chest, shifting my weight to my left foot. "If I took full responsibility?"

"Demotion."

I raised an eyebrow. "Worst case is death isn't it?" A nod. "Alright- you're dismissed." I waved the infantrymen away, who seemed to be grateful to be excused, quickly dispersing too wherever they pleased.

"We can't cover that much territory on our own." Tseng said, despite his frown relaxing slightly. "Do you have a plan?"

"Have all SOLDIERs return to HQ, pin down whoevers missing, set some bait, or search for her den. Either one would work." I shrugged, studying the wound- the style of execution was meant to be one of humiliation, so when the living passed by the body they could spit upon it in spite- or perform some questionable acts upon the body, such as gutting being one of the milder ones.

Tseng flipped open his phone, snapping a few orders. I watched the few citizens who dared roam the area, trying to return to their homes due to the curfew that was placed this afternoon for the investigation. "A few are unaccounted for- I'll send you a list of names."

"No, send me their class." I looked over at the passing train. "I think the bodies were moved." I gestured to the puddle of dried blood beneath a body. There wasn't nearly as much as there should be. I would know. "The train's close isn't it?"

Tseng's eyes widened slightly, he opened his PHS again. "Who's stationed on the train? Are there cameras? Who's there?" I began to pick up the pace, jogging towards the G-bikes.

I felt the engine hum underneath me as it roared to life, speeding off I heard Tseng through my ear piece. " _The train passes over a bridge to your left._ " I glanced at the intersection, then the train quickly rushing forward with a shrill whistle.

Making a sharp turn I pulled the bike up, take a deep breath to concentrate on the familiar warmth flooding me, and the distant flame that warmed me. I jumped off the bike, it scraped against the metal with a few sparks of protest, but fell off the slide of the train as the wind clawed at my face and tugged at my hair. " _Good luck_."

I'll need it, I thought as I jumped down, slamming into the door leading to the train car- a nearby employee jumping with wide eyes as I slammed the door open and put a hand on my largest blade. "Get to the engine room and stay there!" I snapped, moving to the next cart that was empty.

 _Akuma, what are you doing_? I wondered as I stormed into the next car, causing a familiar silver head of hair to turn and stare at me. Zack was missing. "Where's Zack?"

"Cloud, what's going on?" Angeal was the first to speak after their surprise dissipated.

"Ongoing murder investigation, Zack might be in trouble." I answered., walking past them into the next cabin. I stumbled forward as the train rocked back and forth on their tracks, the lights flickering and smoke spewing from the last car when I glanced out the window. "Zack's in danger." I corrected.

"Is there anything we can do?" The raven haired man offered.

The door slammed open and a different employee, stuttering she panted quickly, her hands bloodied. "T-t-he c-c-ond-dd-duc-ctor- he's...he was..." Her hands trembled. "T-there was a woman she..." She sobbed.

"It's alright, was she Wutai?" I softened my voice, pulling a cloth from my pocket and putting it into her stained hands. She nodded, some mucus dripping from her nose. "The blood will come out." I assured.

Another explosion rocked the car, and she letbout a shriek. "Can you flip the train off the tracks. The breaks aren't working are they?"

She nodded weakly, and Sephiroth tilted his head thoughtfully. "I'm not sure."

"Let's evacuate first, Cloud- you go find Zack." Angeal urged, sending me a concerned glance. "Be careful."

"I might die." I admitted with a wry grin, running to the next train car until I saw a familiar set of black spikes through the glass, rushing forward and opening the door I grunted as I caught Zack who blinked up at me. "Cloud! Run, she's enhanced!" He straighted himself quickly, a bruise visible on his busted lip that bleed.

"I know. You should go help the others." I gripped his hand that was placed on my shoulder. "They're going to flip the train, so the bombs don't go off in the next sector."

"Bombs right. What about you?" Zack frowned, looking at the assembled blades.

"I'm going to take the spotlight- though I'm sure Sephiroth pushing an entire train over will take the headline." I grinned, walking past him as the door on the other car opened mako infused eyes honed in on me and gleamed murderously.

I took the moment to study the woman- her black hair had been cut short so that it flared out at her cheeks, and she wore the traditional armor of a Wutai scout. "Hey, _buddy_." She grinned, easing her chin slightly. "How are you doing? Midgar treating you well?"

"Akuma. Wake up." I urged, pulling out my sword.

"Come on _buddy_ , don't be like that. Let's just get rid if these humans- all they do is take and destroy- so what's the point of keeping them around?" She threw her head back with a laugh. "Come on buddy, you know there's no reason keeping people like him around." She took a few strides forward, staring pointedly at Zack. "People are the reason we hurt, right buddy?" I held my blade a little higher, stepping back to stand in front of the man who looked ready to rush forward and kill her in an instant. "It's unfair- isn't it? The goddess is quite loveless." She swung her sword, and I had to press both me hands on there blade as sparks flew from the clashing metal.

"Cloud!" I saw Zack jumping forward, I ducked as a pole swung over my head, knocking her to the side- I detached a sword, tossing it to the raven haired man who caught it.

"Go help the others!" I urged, glaring at Zack so he'd listen. He bit his lip, before running towards the door.

"That won't save them buddy." She kicked out, sidestepping the attack I reached for her ankle with the intention of twisting it, but she swung that Oleg back, jumped up and kicked my side with the other that I barely managed to block with my forearms- and audible crack told me that they were broken, but I ignored the throbbing as I lashed out with a few punches of my own. "I want to take what's yours." She grinned, rolling past me to slash at my shin's when the train lurched to the side.

I fell against the glass, looking through the cracked window I looked at the city ground below- wondering when the train had gone atop a bridge. I narrowly dodged the pole hurled at my head when I jumped onto the roof of the car as it began twirling downwards. "Akuma! I yelled, pushing off the roof and at her who had been falling from the floor and swinging her sword down.

For some reason I was falling.

" _Say, Cloud_." Akuma smiled at me tiredly. "What do you do when it gets bad?" She sat at a table, sipping her tea across from me.

I looked up at the nearby trees- a butterfly caught my eye and fluttered down onto the corner of the wood. "Well...my ma always told me a story- since my father really liked them too- and she was so good at telling stories I forgot about whatever happened."

 _"Will you tell me a story_?" I blinked, looking down at her who lied a few feet away on the dark pavement. I looked the other direction where a flaming ball of twisted metal burned. "I liked them." Dark eyes flaked with specs of blue looked at me when I gazed back at her.

"Sure."

"Cloud?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too."

"It's not your fault.... Shao didn't burn the village down because of you- I told him. I was jealous of you. I'm sorry." She breathed out deeply, smiling at me. "Is it finally over?"

"Yeah. I took your kill. I'm sorry." I bowed my head a little, feeling my stomach cry out in pain as I crawled over to her side, grasping her hand tightly.

"Will the blood ever come out?" She whimpered, a warm puddle of blood forming underneath us.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. "But it's not too late to try."

"Cloud?"

"M'hm?"

"I'm tired."

"I am too."

"Do you think the dreams will go away?"

"They have to eventually, don't they?"

"I guess. Could you tell me about your friends?" Her half lidded eyes looked down at me.

"Sure. There's Sephiroth- he's a total idiot. His face is like he used too much botox- I swear that shit never moves; but he has really pretty eyes...like a cat. Akuma, are you still awake?"

"M'hm."

"And then there's Genesis- he's an idiot too, and a total flirt that loves poetry- LOVELESS is his favorite, but I think some author made it when he wiped his ass with a typewriter. Akuma, you still awake?"

"...M'hm..."

"Angeal- he's just an old man stuck in a behemoth's body- he gave me four different lectures about honor and dreams, but he's really easy to get along with. You'd like him. Sis, you awake?"

"...M'hm..."

"And Zack, he's a total puppy- he reminded me of you actually. He's nice, an optimist too...he'd... give me hugs and stuff... Threaten the lively hood of Sephiroth's heart attack inducing cake... He reminds me of you. Sis, you still up?"

"...Cloud...I think I'm gonna... go to sleep...now." She gave me one last smile before her eyes closed.

I hugged her, ignoring the blood that stained my arm as I did so. "Okay, G'night. I'll sleep too." I rested my head on her chest, looking up at the dark sky, a few stars shining over our heads.

"...Night...little bro..."

" _Don't go._ "


End file.
